And So Finally The Wedding Bells Are Ringing

He proposed to me after a month of being together.  Call me stupid but I said yes. That's how much I love him.

I am a woman with commitment issues, yes. I am somebody who doesn't believe in marriages. For me marriage is for security, convenience and so people won't judge you when you raise kids and live in one house with a man. Now I finally understand what it is. I finally felt it and I finally want it.

Love. I finally found it.

Sex. I finally found the guy who satisfies me all the time, and someone, like me, who understands how important it is in a relationship.  Believe it or not, we do 5-8 rounds in one day, everyday for almost 3 months now.

I am scared. Scared of karma. I have run away from countless marriage proposals from ex boyfriends, and I have cheated and broken their hearts really bad. In fact, I have never tried being the one left behind, I am never the one cheated on or dumped or pushed away. Never. And now I can't help this scary feeling I'm feeling right now. What if he'll hurt me? What if he changes his mind? What if he cheats? What if he leaves me?

I hope everyday that everything I did won't slap me back in the face. Right now, there's nothing I can do about it but hope..... and love him like there is no tomorrow.