And So Finally The Wedding Bells Are Ringing

He proposed to me after a month of being together.  Call me stupid but I said yes. That's how much I love him.

I am a woman with commitment issues, yes. I am somebody who doesn't believe in marriages. For me marriage is for security, convenience and so people won't judge you when you raise kids and live in one house with a man. Now I finally understand what it is. I finally felt it and I finally want it.

Love. I finally found it.

Sex. I finally found the guy who satisfies me all the time, and someone, like me, who understands how important it is in a relationship.  Believe it or not, we do 5-8 rounds in one day, everyday for almost 3 months now.

I am scared. Scared of karma. I have run away from countless marriage proposals from ex boyfriends, and I have cheated and broken their hearts really bad. In fact, I have never tried being the one left behind, I am never the one cheated on or dumped or pushed away. Never. And now I can't help this scary feeling I'm feeling right now. What if he'll hurt me? What if he changes his mind? What if he cheats? What if he leaves me?

I hope everyday that everything I did won't slap me back in the face. Right now, there's nothing I can do about it but hope..... and love him like there is no tomorrow.

You and Me Against the World

So it's been more than a month since my last post. All I can say is, there's a lot going on in my life even for just a month and a couple of weeks or so.

Here's the scenario:

* The coach has been living in with someone for 4 years.  I knew about this after a month in our relationship.
* He broke up with her finally
* My family does not like him
* His family does not like me coz my own mother told one family member of his that he shouldn't be with a girl like me coz I'm a slut and I sleep around a lot and that one day I'll just leave him and plus, why would a single guy like him wants to be with a girl with a kid that would give him double responsibilities one day?
* I fought for him
* My family disowned me
* He fought for me
* His family disowned him

Sucks huh?
And so you would probably think that we're really happy together and it's just both of us against the world... but it's not. We fight like crazy, we do make up sex like there's no tomorrow and on and on it goes.

Sometimes I think it's not healthy anymore. I really wanna get rid of him but I can't. I do not know if this is love or just pure insanity. I just hope I'll know what to do after i sleep on it.